if it's not one thing, it's another. reason for not going to bed, that is. i've been wanting to post for days but don't seem to get it done.

last weekend added new depth to the word exhaustion, but was worth it i think. and i managed not to go into labor, though i do believe i came pretty darn close. very conscious of every step and muscle and bit of exhertion. mbv had his 'studio stroll' and i took friday off to help get ready for it. after helping set up/coordinate the coop school party the night before, that we left at 11pm and were the 'early' ones ... hearsay it went till 3am :). i waddled home in slow motion, literally. friday i worked cleaning, emptying the dining room/entry way, picking up frames and tables and coffee pots, shopping for snacks and paper goods, picking up banners and signage, scrubbing woodwork in a most dusty hallway, matting, etc from 9am to 5am the next morning, and then collapsed for 3 hours before waking up to see mbv still up, still not finished, and doors opening in 2 hours. i felt like i was back in college and having the finals week panic set in ... nice to work together tho on something common. we do manage to make a pretty decent team when we get down to it, and that's very enjoyable. met lots of interesting ppl over the 2 days, only sold a few pieces, but got one into a show coming up so that helps. still feels like a lot of work and the payoff not quite there, but all isn't seen.

a huge welcome to e.c. in philly ... who arrived 3 weeks early and is more loved already than anyone thought possible! i can't wait to meet her. or see her mom with a deflated belly :)

speaking of bellies, mine is ever expanding but still beach ball-ish. a week ago monday i felt something shift, and the pressure changed. had a midwife appt yesterday and she confirmed my suspicion that the baby had dropped ... but added the twist that it's face-up for now. not ideal, but dealable in delivery ... and hopefully will shift before then. feeling like now that the art thing is over, i can truly focus on getting ready for this one, and realize there's a lot still to do/buy/find etc but i can manage fine if the tub doesn't arrive, the corner store does sell diapers, and i have enough clothes from dov that they'll be covered at least. made a list today of what still has to be purchased/taken care of, and it's a bit daunting in the light of my soon-to-be-ending paychecks, need to get back on that faith wagon and not worry about it. it does always work out somehow.

monday was a golden day, in almost every way. realized a large part of it was the utter relaxation and lack of hurrying. p came to visit which was delightful, ice cream was eaten in the sun, books were finished, d had a great day at school and then an hour plus at the park on the way home. there were 2 other 4-year-olds, one a princess in a yellow tulle dress with red glitter shoes, and the name Fiona which D loved. friendly parents, happy kids, and the only squabble over the princesses lack of interest in hearing what d had to tell her at one point. falling off of the slide made it time to go, but no real hurts. made me realize how much time i spend rushing, and how much i a: dislike it, and b: it effects d. concerted effort not to this am, and it was much better. of course, the angel that quitely came out of d's bedroom this am and curled up on the couch was a help. and the fact that he politely interrupted his dad's shower to use the toilet, came back thru our room and volunteered that he'd just go play quietly in his room, and should he shut the door? my kind of angel.

he also had his first blood drawn yesterday, with no visible flinching or issues, just a 'that hurts' comment. sitting in his dad's lap helped, and his dad blanched more than he did i think. i could feel the needle from across the room and hid my own wince and desire to cry for no explicable reason, funny how being a mom digs at your heart in ways you never could predict. that it does, that it does.

and with that i let myself go crash, early for me, though more in line with the desire to wake up feeling better than crosseyed.