Doldrums

I've been in the doldrums a bit since school started, and can't seem to find much motivation. I thought that once Douglas was in school I'd start flying through projects, find new clients, and so on and it's not quite happening. Finally yesterday a friend called for some input on on some e-mails she was writing to potential clients, and to catch up after weeks of silence, and her enthusiasm kicked me in the butt. I promised to send out an email to all my past clients before the day ended, which I did, and felt a thousand times better.

I have a huge mental block on promoting my coaching, as it means promoting ME, and I struggle with that. Pay big bucks for my time, and have nothing tangible/visible in return. Right! But I think I found the words and tone to use, and have two responses already of ladies who want to sign up. They won't find me/think of me if I don't say 'hey' once in awhile!

Really been in a purge mood lately, throwing out, 'curbing' (brooklyn-style recycling), and consolidating. I hate building up stuff, and feel much better when it's pared down, usable, and findable. I just had a lady pick up Douglas' old highchair today thru Freecycle, as Fynn had learned to kick off the tray and it was virtually useless. Now I have to tie him into the clip-on-the-table one as he stands up and shrieks after the first few bites. He is so determined to eat his own way (no spoon feeding this one!) that I've given up.

Douglas seems to be on a defiant rampage, so I'm betting I need to look at my own attitude and see what needs adjusting. I know I'm missing fellowship and the routines I used to have (or feel guilty for not having) and that's part of it. He's reveling in school and his new/old friends, and it's amazing how much more confident he is this year, not that he ever lacked too much in that department. His reading is way ahead of what level they're teaching in school, and I'm not sure if there's anything to do about that, or a need to, as long as he's not bored and acting up. He still gets in trouble for being silly, but that's his nature, not boredom I don't think. He's in the Lead program, which is all I can get him into w/out paying for tests and then private school, and he's only in Kindergarten for crying out loud! But it's hard not to cringe when his homework involves writing/reading the words I/a/me and he's reading Shel Silverstein and Richard Scarry and Tintin to himself. I'm VERY thankful that he just plain loves to read, and does it every morning now as soon as he gets up. He makes a beeline for the orange chair in the kitchen and curls up with a book until he gets hungry or we appear to make breakfast, whichever's first.

Michael's been offered a job next summer which has it's temptations but would be really hard to handle for me ... 6 months working at MASS MoCA putting in an entire wing of Sol LeWitt (Michael helped draw that one) work. Six days a week for 4 weeks, 5 days off ... repeat for 6 months. We'd not see him for weeks at a time, and it would be hard on all of us, especially through the summer! I don't think he could be away from his Building Mgr responsibilities here for that long at a time, aside from the family/kid/studio time issues. Perhaps he can negoatiate a 4/day/week thing, or just do a couple of months. The money offered is way better than what he's been getting (75% raise) so that's the major temptation. Waiting to see what opens up. Meanwhile he has two to three local jobs in for Sol in the next couple months, and landlord work, so he's not in the work doldrums at least! He also got into a show upstate later this month, yay! May it bring more work. I'm getting resigned to him never being home on Saturdays, which is hard and the boys and I are tired of each other by then, but we're surviving ... at least while there are tons of stoop sales every weekend!