go figure. things got totally rearranged this week. i was hoping to go to columbus to see my grandma, and meet up w/my mom there for 2 days, but mom got sick enough to not go. so that’s tentatively rescheduled for next week, when it’s not spring break and when M is scheduled to work again. after taking this week off. not really in a position to have him not working when he could be.
the housemate thing has gotten more dire, which means a change is likely coming soon. i don’t feel free to blog too much about it. i didn’t expect to have to feed him in addition to everything else, however. yes we could kick him out, and no we haven’t yet. leaving that decision to M if/when it comes to that. trying to drill into his head that lying and hiding do NOT help, but so far it doesn’t seem to be sticking.
had a very very weird experience sunday night. felt like a direct spiritual attack, which i suspect it was. we were on the bus going to my aunt/uncles to have easter dinner with them. d and m were sitting together going over robot plans (an all-consuming thing now that he has motors to play with) while f and I were looking out the window and commenting on things. the whole 12 minute ride was calm, harmonious, and pleasant. i didn’t keep my usual eye on what was going on around me, but focused on my kids. f pushed the button for our stop, and we walked towards the back door.
a couple people were ahead of us, and the woman in front of me held the door for us. she was probably about 65, smiled pleasantly at me as f and i were stepping off and said “it was so nice to listen to him talk!” in a really happy voice.
i was slightly surprised as i hadn’t noticed her listening, or even where she sat, but smiled and said “thank you! it’s so nice to hear that.” then her face changed suddenly to a very sour look and she said gruffly “actually i was being sarcastic, it was really quite annoying!” and then marched off down the street.
I was dumbstruck for a second, and then said “hey, wait a minute! what are you talking about???” I stared after her as she marched away, and stood there muttering “what was that? what on earth was she talking about?” M had heard her and laughed loudly, making sure she could hear.
It felt so bizarre, i didn’t know what to think for a couple minutes. we debated following her for a second, then shrugged it off and went on our way. i found myself with tears welling up a minute later, feeling like someone had taken their claws out and run them across my heart. it felt so very pointed and poisonous. i honestly think she was either unbalanced, extremely bitter about something, or even possessed. whatever it was, she wanted to ruin the nice thing she’d seen.
i don’t want to make it into more than it is, but it made me feel a lot like i did in 3rd grade when some creep in my class decided he didn’t like me for some unknown reason, and spit on my face when i was walking home for lunch. i came home with the spit running down my cheek, afraid to touch it, and mom cleaned me up and told me something comforting that i can’t remember. perhaps i’m just naieve. there may be no sense to be made of it, but it sucked.