because i’ve been adjusting to a whole new life. the homeschooling one. i decided i didn’t want to be bound to posting here, so moved my blogher ads over to sanemoms, where i get a lot more traffic and post more regularly anyhow. now i feel a bit free-er to rant over here if i want to. i’m tired of obligations of all sorts, other than parenting and household stuff. that does get old sometimes too, but less than i expected it to.
i love having d home. i really do, and not just because our days are less scheduled. we go just about everywhere together. he’s helpful, fun, crazy, and only drives me nuts about 12 times a day. that’s spread out over the whole day, rather than starting the minute he walks in the door from school. that means we’re having a lot more good times together, upping the ratio of good/lousy considerably. i like this. he likes this too i believe.
it’s going to take time to adjust fully though. a lot of time. he misses school. i do miss free time, but am not missing it nearly as much as expected. my friend s was over yesterday, saw the look in my eyes and asked if i was stir crazy. i was, but hadn’t realized it. strange, i’m usually so aware of that, but the kind of crazy and the kind of stir has changed. she took my kids home with her for a couple of hours, and i got in a run (something that’s been suffering quite a bit) and started dinner on my own. m happens to be painting her house, so brought the kids home after a pizza dinner, by which time i was already on my way downtown to see How to Train a Dragon.
that was good. coming home to find out our landlord gave us the wrong receipt a few months back, and we believed it and assumed we owed a lot less than we do? not good for my psyche. how does one ignore yawning pits at ones feet? they’ve never failed to be filled, we’ve never gone hungry, and never been homeless. i don’t know why i worry, but i still do.
there’s beans with garlic simmering on the stove, iced tea brewing in the gorgeous sun, and a breeze coming in the wide open windows. i’m working on my attitude.
i will post her occasionally, as i feel like it, but not as regularly as over here. i’m trying to be more open over there, as i manage to make tiny cracks in the shell.